So, there we were, me and the Evil Princess in a hotel room in Montgomery, Alabama last week getting ready to teach a class.
Recent cataract surgery has sharpened my vision. Looking in the mirror, I muttered “Damn, I’m old and ugly.”
“Aw,” she purred back, “you’re not ugly…”
“Hey. Hey! Hey!” I replied. “Being cruel to the elderly is a hate crime, ya know!”
“It isn’t cruel if it’s the truth,” she said sweetly.
“The truth sometimes is cruel,” I grumbled back.
She smiled her irresistible Sissy Spacek smile and retorted, “So I’m guilty of…”
“…truelty?”
Ouch.
“Truelty.”
Gotta admit, though, it’s the first time I’ve been present at the birth of a new word.
She ain’t the Evil Princess for nothing. 🙂
Old is hard to fix, but ugly is just a few Rolling Rocks from “staggering”. No, wait.
Stay treacherous, uncle Mas
Dan___
Join the club!!
My Evil Princess is the same. Fun to compare notes.
Trade her in! That will change her tune.Walk off the lot with a new shiny low mileage model. How cruel to coin a word to use on you in your advanced age. Her first words should be ” Sir May I”. Second thoughts maybe at you age, just keep her. Kind of like old slippers. COMFORTABLE.
SEMPER FI.
GRUMPY OLD MARINE
P.S. PLUS YOU DON’T GET MUCH ON TRADE IN’S THESE DAYS.
Hey you both look great. Of course Mas you married a babe but you are darn good looking to the eye!
I will be 80 this August, so the next time someone (or even yourself) says, “Mas, you’re sure getting old.”, just tell them, “Yeah but Jo Ann’s OLDER!” That will shut them up AND confuse the hell out of ‘em. Guaranteed?
I’ll be 62 this month. I recently did an average of 1600 pushups a week for 10 weeks (sometimes as many as 700 in a day). Still, when I look in the mirror, I see a nearly 62 year old face. Damn,you can’t win for losing.
your TRUE age is NOT about outward appearances. Nope, its about practical function. Anyone who can do that many pushups in a go is NOT old. Anyone who can hop on a road bike (the kind with two pedals that go round and rouund) and cover a hundred miles in a day is NOT old. Anyone who can spend two or three hours at a stretch splitting firewood with a maul is NOT old. And anyone with a mind sharp enough to duel with EP and/or Mas is NOT old…..
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone, Mas!
It’s a shame that Late life Eye Lens Replacement gives us us such a dramatic change in our Views of ourselves, and of Others, isn’t it?
Paul
Damn, ya didn’t need cataract surgery to realize that. Given yer feet are significantly further than your face in the mirror, take a look at yer feet old man. Just as old and ugly? I hope my truelty isn’t taken as cruelty. If so, sue me.
NEOLOGISMS, thanks for the new word (new to me).
Stay safe
I’m in my early 60’s and dirt poor, but claim to be very wealthy and nearly 100 years old and have been deluged with numerous marriage offers from beautiful young women.
you are not old, and you are not ugly…..you are just mature and have character…you are also a gentleman and a scholar, and there are damn few of us left…….All the Best….
I got my dose of reality back when I was working. We were required to wear picture badges. The nice young lady who made the badges told me I needed a new picture badge one morning. I looked, the picture wasn’t marred and I stated I didn’t need a new badge. She sweetly pointed out that my hair wasn’t brown anymore.
74 this month.
2 weeks ago doc is putting 5 stitches in my face because I tripped, fell, and didn’t land very well. Doc says he will be doing so-and-so because he doesn’t want to leave a scar because it’s on my face.
I told him I long ago changed priorities to pure functionality and I can live with what I see in the mirror. Thanks for the tip — no eye surgery for me!
……………..
Still remember lessons learned with my 2 sons in a class in Iowa years ago, Mas. Long drive from Florida, but well worth it. Thank you, again.
Mas,
It beats the alternative.
I turned 60 today. No one is more surprised by that then me. You have known me 35 of those years.
Think of all the people that you have met in this life and how many more are out there for you to meet. You have so much more knowledge to share.
I say cherish each day, who cares if there are wrinkles or gray hairs ( I mean wisdom highlights)
Enjoy each day with the E.P. and your friends and family that love you.
You know your going to live to be 100 or so right ?
My husband and I are the same age. We share a lot of history. We were raised during the same era. We listened to the same music. We like working outside. We KNOW what presents the other really likes. There is always something to talk about…and reminisce.
So, I’d advise not trading in the Evil Princess for a younger model.
PS keep up the good advise on guns and gun laws. I love your research.
Thanks
Comments are closed.