You’ll remember my adopted son, Javid, who came from India originally. He’s handicapped and has been living in a group home. Slowly, his health has been deteriorating. He has Type 1 diabetes and has been battling pressure sores for years. They become infected, resulting in multiple trips to the hospital. After much praying and thought, he decided to go into hospice. This means no more painful trips to the hospital. But it also means no more wound treatment, other than maintenance. He won’t be with us on this earth much longer. My oldest son, Bill, went with me to see him on Sunday and it was very hard on us. Javid has lost so much weight and can barely whisper to us. Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children.

Javid at a visit home with the dogs.

Then, to top the week off, our dogs, Hondo and Sarge, got into a huge fight. Hondo has always been the “boss” and has lorded it over Sarge. But suddenly Sarge had enough and retaliated, biting down on Hondo’s neck. Will was on the front of the fight, trying to pull them apart and I was on Sarge’s tail, pulling him back. They finally quit. Not too much damage. But now the old buddies are enemies, and we have to keep them apart. I made an appointment with the vet to have Sarge neutered, which should help a lot. And I also ordered an E-collar and muzzle for some aggressive training. I’m hoping we can eventually have them together, even if not friends. Honestly, it’s like having two of your children suddenly become enemies. I feel so awful.

I always feel better, looking at pictures of pretty flowers.
Pretty soon it’ll be time to garden again. Thank God!

Fortunately, the seed business has been doing well, and I’ve kept busy packing seeds, which takes my mind off of things. Friday, God willing, I’m starting the pepper seeds. It seems strange, when our high has barely made it above zero and the lows in the -30 to -21 degrees F. But spring will come, and we’ll survive all of this. — Jackie

45 COMMENTS

  2. Oh, Jackie – we’re sending love and prayers for you, Will, Javid, Hondo, Sarge, and the whole family during this tender time. We wish peace and strength for everyone and the hope of Spring on the horizon. Blessings to you all.

  3. When I think of you and Will and the extended family you adopted without any government help, I am always especially grateful for all you have done for Javid. Wasn’t it Javid who put an ear of corn under his chin so he could help with stripping the husk? What a display of appreciation from him! I shudder to think what his life would have been in India. You introduced him to faith and assured him a place in Heaven where there will be no pain or sorrow. You remember my husband, Carl Wick, had hospice at the end of his life. They did an amazing job to give him dignity and freedom from pain. I still miss him every minute. The dogs will sort out who is boss, and then they will having a working agreement! Prayers for each of you. Please reach out for help, you do not have to do it all yourself. God bless you

  4. I am so very sorry for your heartache, Jackie. Sending prayers for comfort and peace. Keep looking at those pretty pictures of Nature’s splendor and beauty. Photo therapy!

  5. Hospice will do their best to keep him comfortable and his passing peaceful. The knowledge that he is free from pain after years of suffering will comfort you going forward. That he was made this difficult decision on his own is his gift to you.

    My d-i-l made that decision for herself and spared me as her medical POA for having to do so. She passed in November. I would have made the decision, but not having to was truly a blessing for me.

    I’ve put your family on my prayer list.

  7. Such terrible hard times for you and your family! Keep spreading the pain to all of us that dearly love and admire you. Getting old has been teaching me there are certain things I cannot fix…family and friend illnesses, death, pet issues and my own personal health issues. Acceptance is hard, even when I give it my very best effort. Take some comfort in knowing how much you have given to Jared and your dogs. They would have been far worse if you had not been in their lives.

  8. Dear Jackie, I’m so sorry about Javid! I know you’re heart sore over his decision but I think he’s decided to let go and let God deal with the decision. I don’t have children, but loosing one is hard. I raised my two younger brothers as our mother didn’t take care of them. The youngest called me Mama until he was 3 and half. I was 12 when he was born. We’re still close. I’d be heartbroken over loosing him. All I can offer you is prayers and long distance concern and love. If we can make it into church Sunday I will request prayers for Javid, you and your family. Love and hugs Cat

  9. I was getting my seed order ready, do you still have Paw Paw tomato seeds? My absolute favorite tomato. Please let me know.Thanks so much!

  13. Good morning Jackie. I’m so sorry for Javid’s declining health and know this has to be incredibly difficult.
    I’m glad you and Bill went and spent time with him. You and your family as well as Javid are in my prayers.
    I’m very sorry Hondo and Sarge got into a huge fight. Thankful no serious injury.
    I adopted a dog from a shelter I worked at several years ago. I had a huge gate over door of one room to keep everyone separated for awhile. Eventually she was able to be out with my Sheltie and the cats. One sheltie she and him never got along so had to keep her in a separate room when gone or busy. Not sure that’s an option with so much going on at your home. I pray a peaceful resolve with the two. Mine were all fixed so I think it was a personality thing with the two.
    We’re up to our eyeballs in snow here and more to come so haven’t been able to go anywhere yet. I’m praying can get out one of these days. Have plenty of stored food but still want to get to post office and a few errands done. The cold is like yours and very ready for warmer temps.
    Thanks for sharing the pictures. Encourages me Spring will come eventually and we will survive all this!
    May your day go well and peace be in your household.

  14. If there is faith tiny even as a mustard seed then there is much to be glad for. I am sure that you have planted that seed well and tended it with much loving care so that your son has lived a blessed life. Take comfort knowing that you are not alone in this and that you and your family are much loved and appreciated.

  15. Jackie, I send my warmest blessings for your son. Sad times are ahead and we all share your heartbreak. Javid had a wonderful life with you and I know he is grateful for all your love and care. The dogs are puzzling, what would make them turn on each other after all the time they have been together. Would a vet visit help.

  16. I’m so sorry you are going through hard times. My heart aches for you.
    You may keep an eye on Hondo. It is possible he has an illness such as cancer. In the animal world often times, the sick get kicked out of the pack. We had that happen with 2 German Shepard. It turned out they had cancer and died not too long after they were attacked by our other dogs. It is so vicious and heart breaking.
    I wish for peace and comfort for you and your family.

  17. Take solace that your parenting gave him the strength and ability to make the decision, no matter how painful it will be for you. Parents should not outlive their child(ren) but sad to say it happens. My grandpa was 92 when his son died. Grandpa had also outlived his wife, four siblings, and most of his friends. Grief has no time table and as my aunt says, will lessen a bit over time (she’d lost a son and three grandchildren).
    I do hope neutering helps but I was surprised to read he wasn’t already neutered. May detente happen.

  18. Jackie, Words aren’t enough to convey our sincere thoughts for you. It’s hard to know that good people go through sad times. You will walk through this like you have numerous times when all seemed lost. You have faith and you grow plants every year. You have learned from that, that nature or life cannot be controlled, just tolerated as we must and wait for a better time or season. Just by looking at this page of those of us who feel your sorrow and take it to heart themselves, you have and are making an impact on so many by just living a good life and sharing it with all of us. You and your son will be in my prayers.

  19. Jackie, Words aren’t enough to convey our sincere thoughts for you. It’s hard to know that good people go through sad times. You will walk through this like you have numerous times when all seemed lost. You have faith and you grow plants every year. You have learned from that, that nature or life cannot be controlled, just tolerated as we must and wait for a better time or season. Just by looking at this page of those of us who feel your sorry and take it to heart themselves, you have and are making an impact on so many by just living a good life and sharing it with all of us. You and your son will be in my prayers.

  20. I don’t have the words to tell you how sorry I am to hear about Javid and the dogs. Its heart wrenching and my prayers are with you and your family. Special prayers for Javid for comfort and for you and the family for strength to endure through this time. Hugs.

  21. I pray for Javid and you Jackie. I have a firm belief that Javid someday, backed by scripture, will be resurrected to a perfect body and will not suffer anymore.
    Alma 40:
    23 The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame.
    24 And now, my son, this is the restoration of which has been spoken by the mouths of the prophets—
    25 And then shall the righteous shine forth in the kingdom of God.

    I pray that he may not suffer too much, or at all.

  23. Oh so sorry to hear of Javid, and also the dogs. A good thing is that they’ve all had you in their lives. And it sounds like Javid has fought the good fight and is ready for his rest and reward soon, so prayers of Peace to you all. I hope you are able to be with him a great deal of the time now. As we all know, things will wait for us to get back to later, just like dirty dishes do.
    How do you manage to keep Hondo and Sarge apart? There can’t be one outside and the other inside for very long, nor one being in the basement where pantry is…Elephant in a China Shop! Does David have a new resident? The collar and muzzle should get the point across to the furry family though.
    Hugs to you and Will.

  24. So sorry to hear of you serious situations you are dealing with. I too know the feeling and extreme sadness of watching a loved one die. May God comfort you during this time.

  25. Dear Jackie,
    I am saying prayers for your son; and all of your family. I love the spring, and it reminds us
    of a new hope and a new beginning. It is freezing here but I saw buttercups on the way to church this past
    Sunday.

    Jan

  26. I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles and sorrow over your son Javid. Those we love are never really lost, they are waiting for us joyfully in heaven. That knowledge may not lessen our grief, but time will heal. You have so many friends and those you have inspired and we are all praying for you!

    Love, Mardell

  27. Passing the box of tissues (as I grab one). Prayers are with Javid and the entire family.

    Hopefully Sarge and Hondo will be able to co-exist in due time. Animals. They are just like children. Thankfully they both survived the fight with minimal to no injury.

  28. I’m asking our loving Father to provide a peaceful transition for Javid; soon he will be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! What a glorious day that will be for him! May you know the peace that passes all understanding as he is reunited with with our Father! He’s been extremely blessed to have your family in his life; bless you for all you e done for him and given him, and got the selfless love you’ve shown him. May your breaking heart be mended and restored. 🙏🏼💔❤️‍🩹❤️🙏🏼

  29. Javid had a good wonderful life living with you and here in the USA. Prayers for him and you.

    I had an older adopted male cat and adopted a female cat, both were fixed. The male cat did not like the female and fought with her all the time. I finally had to take her back to the shelter.
    Hope your dogs make peace with each other. I am a firm believer in having animals fixed. To many in shelters and roaming streets.

  30. Our prayers are with Javid, you and the family. May the Lord give you all comfort through this trying time.
    Hopefully the surgery for Sarge will ease the tension. It will take a little while to get the testosterone out of his system, but as you said, they will get along even if not friends any more.
    Bless you Lady…you are wonderful.

  31. Hi Jackie,

    My heart goes out to you in these hard times. I am praying for Javid, you and your other family members. We don’t always understand why things happen as they do but God has a plan and we can trust Him. The Lord bless you and His peace be upon you.

  35. Jackie, we appreciate your honesty.
    Lord, I ask that you provide Javid with peace in his inner being that can only come from you. Walk with Jackie during this time of grief. Thank you for her love for Javid and for bringing him to be one of her own. Her kindness to him has given him a knowledge of true love and belonging.
    Thank you for the promise of spring and new life even amidst dying. Amen

    Stupid dogs. They sure can put us through it can’t they?
    But what would we do without them.

  36. I am so sorry to hear about your troubles..yes it is very sad when parent’s out live their children…my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family…

  38. Hi Jackie- this journey were all on can sure be tough sometimes. I’m sending prayers to Javid and to your family. The prospect of spring and the garden is so comforting- hard work and all. Blessings to all.

  39. Jackie, your last line says the truth…”But Spring will come, and we’ll survive all of this.” Your faith is so strong, an example to all of your readers! May God’s Grace and Peace fill your heart and the hearts of your family. (And the dogs too!)
    With prayers for Javid, and all of you,
    Vicki

  41. Also, thanks for the summery photos! Nice to see.Especially with the upcoming low tonite of -27 in Fergus Falls!
    katherine

  42. sorry for the challenges you are facing. Will keep you and your son in prayers for his comfort and your peace with his decision.
    Katherine

  43. oh Jackie, I truly feel for you. life is never roses always, but having the rose to enjoy is a treasure. Prayers for your family in this time. so thankful Hospice is with him. never easy for families in this time. Lord be with all. Sarges upcoming operation will hopefully heal the relationship over time. we are’ enjoyin’ the mid teen weather here. bye bye bugs for next summer! take care. prayers are with you.
    mary

  44. Jackie…I lost my oldest son several years ago, due to health problems. It is not easy. No parent should ever lose a child, even when the child is an adult. There are two things that keep me sane. The first is knowing that he is no longer suffering. The seond is concentrating on all of the good memories and trying not to think about the bad ones. May God give you strength.
    PS It’s OK to cry.

Comments are closed.