Last week, I was teaching in the Omaha area, and some of the good people there presented me with a certificate declaring me an Admiral in the Navy of the State of Nebraska.
It was kinda cool, a “Kentucky Colonel” sorta thing, only with a little more whimsy to it.
It has turned out to be fun. I put my hand on the thigh of the Evil Princess and asked, “Now that I’m an admiral, does that make me a ‘squid’?” She slapped my hand away and sighed, “Seems more like an octopus to me.”
But that will not deter me from fulfilling my new leadership responsibilities. A navy in a Free World state should be committed to liberation and freedom. Therefore, I should attempt to recruit some Sailors and Marines, all voluntary of course. I’m told that the current Navy of Nebraska may consist of a wooden boat up on blocks in a cornfield, but that should not deter us freedom-lovers from assembling a fleet of privately-owned bass boats, manned by volunteers armed with good ol’ Nebraska pheasant guns (and perhaps a few Barrett Light .50s on tripods).
We’ll tow the bass boats to Interstate 80, sail up the Chicago River, effect an amphibious landing, and liberate the city of Chicago. Given the fact that Mayor Daley’s regime has effectively disarmed everyone but the cops and the criminals, we should have clear, uh, sailing. Most of the several thousand remaining Chicago cops should be on our side (see HERE if you don’t believe me) as a most effective fifth column to help us restore order to the city they love, serve, and protect. The criminals? A few hundred honest Midwesterners with Flite-Control buckshot and rifled slugs in their 12-gauges should sort that out quickly.
We exile Mayor Daley to the Island of Elba, or perhaps more appropriately, to Northerly Island (formerly Meigs Field, the airport Daley imperiously bulldozed), and restore freedom to about three million people.
“First,” I told the Evil Princess as I tickled her tummy, “We’ll have to practice navel maneuvers.”
“Don’t be naughty-cal,” she said as she slapped my hand away again.
This admiral thing is cooler than I thought it would be, but they never warned me that it would make my hand hurt…
The new admiral reviews a possible flagship…
Lol. Thanks for the chuckle.
Congratulations Admiral. I salute you!
Mas, We have enough Bassboat right here in your beloved Suwannee Conty Fl , to fullfill your “Naval ” requirements– Guns too !!!!
Never let it be said that Admiral Ayoob does not have a sense of humor. I’d still be laughing if the real reason for his latest blog wasn’t so serious. That reason being the sad, sorry state of affairs in Chicago.
The Navy engages in shore bombardment and ports of call, paving the way for the Marines to make the amphibious assault. (sailors have the better deal)
Am I hearing a hint of sedition here? big lol
You should read about Hutt River
Providence. It is a ranch that actually
seceed from Australia. It is in the
state of Western Australia. Interesting
read.
Debby
BE CAREFUL, ADMIRAL, WHEN MANEUVERING ON THE CHICAGO RIVER…HISTORY INDICATES THAT THOSE “WATERS” CATCH ON FIRE EVER SO OFTEN!!!…WHY NOT BRING YOUR FLEET OUT HERE???…WE HAVE A LOT MORE INHABITANTS OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF “KALIFORNIA” THAN CHITOWN THAT NEED TO BE FREED FROM OUR RIDICULOUS LAWS THAT VIOLATE OUR 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS!!!
Why is it that our better halves never take this stuff as seriously as we?
Good grins, Mas.
I am from the great state of Missouri, but sign me up, I could help with the western front as I am in NEMO LOL
My grand dad was an Admiral in the Nebraska Navy. My grandmother said he was “outstanding” in his field for quite some time waiting for his ship to come in. Sorry for the “corny” joke. : )
An Admiral in the second most respected navy in the US deserves at least a couple of aircraft carriers. I would be proud to make the first landing on your flagship, the USS Most Lethal. I understand there are some very nice watering holes in Nebraska with wide and long bars, fully certified for practicing carrier landings. I see a vision forming…Admiral Ayoob, Chief of the US Central Fleet, christened the second of his nuculer (oops, habits are hard to break) nuclear carriers with the traditional two bottles of beer. The crowd was somewhat disappointed that they could only see Admiral Ayoob on the grandstand but understood that they could not expect to see the aptly named “Concealed Carrier” as it is the latest in naval stealth technology.
Needs a deck gun!
I visted a friend from the army once in Ohio. He took me to the local “lake”. I saw it from miles away but didn’t know what it was until we got there. Turns out all the locals got together and built up a berm that made a hollow square several hundreds yards on each side. Then they installed a pump system that filled it with water. The sides of this “lake” were about 10′-15′ tall. We parked in the lot and climbed the steps to see a few dozen mini destroyers going full tilt in a counter clockwise direction with all the wives/GFs sitting in lawn chairs on the berm chatting away and sunning themselves while the boys used up gas at a prodigous rate going nowhere fast! The top of the berm was flat and was about 15′ or 20′ wide, you could easy park an 18 wheeler there if you could get it up there. There was lots of room for catch, riding bikes, fishing, etc, etc. True American ingenuity.
Mas, or Admiral, is a Cornhusker now???
Oh He11 yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard the class in LaVista was awesome, but DANG!!!
All is right in my world now…
Awesome blog post!
Advice if I may,
Just be careful trying to recruit Seamen on the internet…
Admiral Mas, hope you launch your assault on the Windy City soon. Recently read that there’s only around 1,666 Chicago PD beat officers on the street at any one time to deal with an estimated 75,000 gang members and other upstanding citizens in a city of almost 3 million. Talk about a Thin Blue Line…
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/chicago-police-department-cpd-budget-understaffing/Content?oid=2223621
As an admiral you must be able to say, with a straight face, “Make it so!” It is up to you to decide what your XO, that Evil Princess should make so, but it probably would be fun and unrealistic to imagine.
My wife, who grew up there, suggests western Kansas for Daly’s exile, but I’m pretty sure parts of Chicago would do fine.
Ahoy, Admiral! I dare say that a contingent of us Missourians would be glad to sign on for the Chicago confrontation. Perhaps we could follow the progress of the mayor’s status with the “Chicago Daley News”. We would, of course, pitch in for the rebuilding of Meigs Field upon successful conclusion of the campaign.
Ron
Mas, please….LONG pants, LONG
Mas, great having you here in Nebraska! Congrats on your Admiralship. Enjoyed the time with you and Gail and hope to see you again soon.
My wife and I had the pleasure of meeting ‘Mas’ at the Friends of NRA Dinner in Orlando, Fla. about a month ago. Great guy! He now spends a lot of time in the Sunshine State, too.
Hey Mas,
Be careful on the Chicago River, too fast causes too much turbulence and the Big head Carp are known to jump right out of the water and knock people out of the boat. Makes for great bow fishing though.
Randy
Outstanding plan Admiral. Perhaps you’ll have need of a old Scout?
Congratulations. As a Kentucky Colonel and Admiral of Waters of Kentucky, I welcome you to the fold and I am proud to have you. Keep up the good work to have the shooting sports and martial arts respected and professionally run. I read your blog regularly and enjoy hickok45 on You Tube video’s and both of you are good role models.