So, anyways, me an’ my buddy Jon-Boy was settin’ on the back porch, havin’ us a few brews, an’ Jon-Boy up an’ sez, “Cooter, you figger them Ree-publicans got a chance to win this year?”

I done shook my head an’ answered, “Don’t rightly know, Jon-Boy. Kindly scary how close that Kerry feller come to winnin’ the last time.”

“Yeah,” sez Jon-Boy, “I bet that there wife o’ Kerry’s is still kickin’ his butt an’ screamin’,

‘Dammit, I coulda bought a real Kennedy!’”

I done took me a pull offa my own long-neck an figgered it was time fer a joke. “So,” I sez, “Day after the last election, John Kerry walks into a bar. Bartender sez, ‘Hey, buddy, why the long face?’”

Wal, I guess it took ol’ Jon-Boy a moment to remember John Kerry’s face, ‘cause he didn’t laugh or nothin’ right off. Then he took him a swig a’ beer, an sez, “Wonder if Barack or Hillary or whoever’s gonna figger out what Kerry done wrong, afore it’s too late fer ‘em.”

I done hadda ask again, “Whassat?”

“Way I figger it, Cooter,” J.B. explained, “them there Democrats spend way too much time doin’ that brie-an’-chablis thang with alla them rich Yuppies. Suppose that jes’ lak in yer joke, Kerry or the next one skips the next wine-tastin’ at somebody’s mansion, and jes’ drops into a good ol’ workin’ man’s bar. Has ‘emselves a Bud, right outa the bottle, an’ talks to some ordinary folks lak us, finds out what we want an’ why we want it and how come us’ns votes the way we do.”

Made sense to me. “Think that’ll help ‘em, Jon-Boy?”

“If they don’t set down, have a Bud, an’ talk to us reg’lar folk, them Democrats gonna be disappointed when they wake up the mornin’ after the election.”

“Howzat?”

Jon-Boy done lifted his brew an’ said, “’Cause when they see the election results, they gonna wake up sadder, Budweiser.”

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